Monday, January 02, 2017

Inequilibrium: It's what makes life interesting

I have read and studied about equilibrium in science, biology among other subjects in school. Nature likes it, hence it balances wherever there is imbalance - water flows from a level higher to the level lower, till there is equilibrium. 
Then there are laws of physics, Newton's laws of equilibrium - if the 3 directional forces are all zero, the body will remain at rest (force equilibrium) and if the resultant moment about an axis is zero along all the 3 dimensions, the body continues in its state (spinning/ at rest as the case may be).

So much said about equilibrium...however, what I was fascinated by, was Inequilibrium. I believe, it is the starting point of everything, it is the beginning. In defiance of the laws above, I believe, that Inequilibrium does not transform into equilibrium, for relationships. Somehow, I feel, nature's laws don't work here. 

Let's take relationships, and all of it involves the heart, which means feelings and emotions. What is the metric used to measure emotions? What is the device you can use? 
There is none. Science hasn't crossed that frontier yet where it can measure what I feel for another. It just can't. Till date we are kept guessing each other's feelings, while grappling with our own emotions. We know it qualitatively but can never measure the actual depth. 

So, here is an example, the most common one being love. The boy feels something for the girl. What is this 'something', we don't know. Its an undefined feeling. 'Kuch kuch hota hain, tum nahi samjhoge'. So, how does he explain it?  He can't, but it is something that he cannot ignore. The starting point is Inequilibrium. In one person's heart, and therein begins his journey to seek equilibrium. 

So, he pursues the girl, or object of his desire. The two possible outcomes from the girl are - 'I love you too' or 'Thank you'. In both the cases, it is still inequilibrium. 

In the 1st case of reciprocation, the boy felt more, and for far longer than the girl. He pursued her to put his point across, to show the depth he felt. Something moved in the girl, and she decided to respond back. However, even in her reciprocation, is there equilibrium of emotions in the heart? How can we measure? 
In my view, it's not there. The one who felt first, felt more, and is still growing in the want and desire. He is higher up the 'feeling curve' if I may call it thus. The one who felt later, has just started out. How can the two levels of emotions and feelings be the same, be at equilibrium? Its not. Inequilibrium persists. 

In the 2nd case, where the girl remains unmoved and is thankful for the depth and emotions felt by the boy, it is obviously inequilibrium. What remains to be seen, is whether the boy gets over his feelings and reaches back to equilibrium? In my mind, the answer is no. This is because, for someone, if you have felt 'crush' or 'love', there is some residual feelings for the object he desired, whenever, he comes across the person in future. 

What about the other relationships? A mother loves her daughter much more than the daughter can ever feel, a father feels a lot proud of his son's achievements than the son can ever hope to take pride in. Grandmother and grandchild, brother and sister, among other relationships. In fact, even in a marriage, it is not possible to have the husband and wife feel equal level of love towards each is  always feeling more than the other. We don't know who, as we cannot measure and compare both, but therein resides inqeuilibrium. 

My post is not about the search for a measurement device, as that will make life so uninteresting. Measure and know, takes imagination out of it, kills expression to describe emotions and feelings. 
It is in seeking to show the depth of feelings, have poets written what they have, penned sonnets, lyrics, songs, shayaris - all in an effort to express, to seek equilibrium for the inequilibrium that exists in hearts. But, it is never meant to be. 

I will be happy hear the other view...
Happy New Year!